And here he is....
Born as an iconic chalk image - or better, as a badly drawn storyboard sketch in some TV producer's head - behold, I give you Claudius, The Clown!!!
He has finally gathered his strengths and stepped out of his celluloid film cage (digital Betacam tape, really) and has insinuated himself into the collective ideal, or so he plans to do...
He is mischievous, devious, poisonous, lascivious and terribly obvious.
His demeanour will unsettle you, his behaviour puzzle you, his aura spook you, oh yeah... Freaky shit, baby...
He's the new, sinister 'agent provocateur' of the clown world, he's the poke in your eye, the squirt in your face, the banana skin in your path, the laxative in your cup of tea, the pain in your...
He's the most unclownie clown.
He doesn't entertain, hates to make people laugh, doesn't do children parties and certainly none of that balloon-shaping nonsense.
But he walks. Oh yes, he walks...
Like a nouveau Christ on his personal calvary, he embraces his uncomfortable destiny with humility, and carries the burden of humanity's sins on his frail shoulders, among the whip lashes and the scorn of the people. He endures it without drama, without weeping, but he's very, very pissed off...
Forget Pierrot's tears and his pallid face. This guy's face is redder than his nose, he's boiling up like an old electric kettle with a broken switch... it's only a matter of time....
Follow his adventures through Britain's best loved landmarks and most abhorred shit-holes, he will be there, staring you out and sniggering in the background, like an ill-fitting metaphor for the state of modern society...
